[Written as response to You are the monster in the closet trying to do your job, the only thing stopping you is the stuffed animal on the child’s bed.]
I found Teddy next to the door this morning. I think he scratched the door because there were alot of scratches on it. I told him to stay away from the closet. There is a monster inside it. I never saw it but I hear it. The door opens sometimes at night. I hide under the blanket. I tell Teddy to stay away from it. Why did Teddy sleep in front of the closet? Did you see what happened? I think the monster tried to take Teddy from me. But Teddy bit him and made it go away. I don’t want to lose Teddy. They already have mr Panda. The monster should go away. Mom and Dad think theres no monster. I only have Teddy and you.
We celebrated from night to morning after we finally found a way to defeat that blasted Panda. We had tried everything from nets and pitfalls to explosive tennis balls and flamethrowers. Every time, that thing with it’s ravenous claws and teeth would easily bypass our tools. You wouldn’t think a huge bear like that would be able to jump out of a one-foot hole, but holy hell, when it did we ran for our lives. The thing that got it finally? Poison. Pandas will do anything for bamboo it turns out. We just had to find some, and lace it with alcohol. I guess it couldn’t digest it, and it just fell over. We dragged its corpse into our lair to harvest the bones for our houses, but that’s only second grade material.
What we really need is human teeth. The fairies up in heaven, they almost have a monopoly over teeth. They give the humans a piece of metal or paper in exchange and they go for it. Those fools! We could offer much more if they would just be open to negotiations. The tooth fairies then sell the teeth to us in hell for outrageous prices, and we have no choice but to grit our teeth (ha-ha) and bear it. Then some of us found a way to infiltrate the human living spaces under the cover of shadows. All the teeth in the world suddenly became available to us, except the humans had guards.
Ferocious guards, as I might add. Lions, tigers, and bears. They wouldn’t let us near the humans who had the teeth we needed. We couldn’t even negotiate properly, because we could live only in the shadows and they were always asleep, so there was nobody to call off the guards. When the closet is closed, we sometimes call for them to tame their guards, but I don’t think they can make out our words from so far away. We could give them gold, jewelery, I hear those humans fancy shiny rocks. But instead they give all of their teeth to the damn fairies for pieces of paper.
But we were hopeful after we discovered a way to defeat one of the guards at least. I sent one of the soldiers to retrieve the teeth the next day, but he never returned. The human got another guard, a brown bear. I sent my legion to give it a dose of the poisoned bamboo, but they haven’t returned either. I fear we may never be able to escape from the dependence over those wretched tooth fairies.
Teddy could smell evil. It was his first day on guard duty and he was determined to prove his worth, even if the human was asleep to observe the battle. He saw the shadows creep out of the closet brandishing green sticks. If he attacked now, they would easily react and escape. But if he waited, waited…. now! He lunged and bounded towards the demons. They saw him, but they were too slow. They scrambled to reach the safety of the closet, but each was struck down by the deft claws of the feral bear. Hundreds of shadows, clawing at the door to try to open it, the bear roared a great roar and the shadows evaporated. The child woke up with a start and turned on the light. Teddy went limp, as the light paralyzed him. It didn’t matter. He did his job. The fairies would pay him well for defending the child.